The holiday season, beginning with Thanksgiving and stretching out through New Years Day, can be a major source of stress and depression for many of us. Financial pressure, painful memories and associations, being alone, time pressure, and difficult relationships can all contribute. It’s a time of year when many of us have family expectations and obligations to meet, and old emotion wounds can get triggered and irritated.

 

Coping Strategies

• Invent your own traditions that work for you and your loved ones. Think about what’s most important and make that your focus. There are other ways of showing your love than giving expensive presents. Set your focus and intention, and keep oriented to it throughout the season. Some examples: generosity, kindness, connecting, or peace of mind.
• Re-think family obligations. Some people, acting out of  a sense of guilt and what’s expected of them, continue to subject themselves to holiday traditions that leave them depressed , shut down, or angry. Ask yourself: Does it really have to be this way? If I was truly free, how would I respond to this situation? For example, if visiting family out-of-state, it may be possible to stay at a nearby motel, have a rental car at hand, and spend only the amount of time with them that works for you. You get to do it your way.
• Take care of yourself physically. Don’t let the holidays become an excuse to abandon good habits of healthy eating and exercise. Eat healthy, light meals. Get enough exercise. Get fresh air. Stay active. Take a class that helps you to stretch and relax, like Yoga, Pilates,  or Tai Chi.
• Be realistic. Even with the scaled back holidays in a recession, society sets up many unrealistic expectations for us. Life is how it is. Your feelings are what they are. There are pleasures and pains in every moment of living. Perfection is not possible.
• Take care of yourself emotionally. Abandon passivity. Reach out for the support of other people and groups.   Learn to say no and not over-extend yourself. Be aware of your triggers. Give yourself room to feel your emotions but not be hijacked by them. One way of being hijacked is to have a negative emotion and then make up a story of how it’s always this way or will never be different or it’s all your own fault. Remember instead that emotions, thoughts and reality are in a constant state of change. This pain or hurt is not who you are at your core.

The holidays can be a source of stress, frustration, depression and anxiety for many. Don’t get caught up in unreasonable expectations, pay attention to your own needs and values, and don’t abandon taking good care of yourself. And. if needed, seek out professional help.