Doing therapy in San Francisco, I am very aware that most of us lead very busy lives these days. The pressure to earn a living and to keep up with everything in our lives is incredibly taxing and can leave us feeling anxious and fatigued. Increased connectedness, with smartphones, emails, facebook, texting and twitters add to the constant pulls for our attention and activates that addictive part of our brains that is constantly seeking quick rewards. For those of us lucky enough to be employed, vacations and time off have been diminishing, while doing more with fewer resources and longer workdays have become common. We’ve become a nation of people working harder and harder with less and less downtime.
It is very important to be able to learn how to take a break. A break can be a kind of a refuge. It is something like the spaces between words and paragraphs and chapters in a book. It helps to make things coherent and gives them meaning. It allows us to make contact with a different parts of ourselves, those parts that are not concerned with productivity and jumping from activity to activity.
What could we do if we weren’t so busy? We could make connections. meet with a close friend, or explore our creativity. Writing a poem, dancing, looking closely at something in nature, cooking a meal , or doing absolutely nothing can all be ways of taking a break. All of these things can help to reconnect us with a sense of aliveness, peace, meaning, and beauty.
A break is a space and time that needs to be set aside and protected. It is a time to unplug and explore what it is like to slow down and shift focus and attention. It takes a strong commitment to not be swept away by the urgings of the mind and the demands of life. You have to make time to do this and protect this valuable time.
What can you let go of to make the time for a meaningful break? An hour of TV news? An hour of mindless web browsing or compulsively checking your email? What are you willing to NOT do every day to open up your life.
Endless busyness does not fill us up. What do you want your life to be? Author Ann Lamont says that what really nourishes us inside is “real, sweet, dopey, funny life.” Every day you need at least half an hour of quiet time to yourself, unless you are incredibly busy. Then you need at least an hour.
Ways to Slow Down (From “The One Who Is Not Busy” by Darlene Cohen)
- Look up from your desk and gaze out the window. Really look up and really pay attention — notice the colors, the shapes, and the play of sunlight and shadow.
- Do five minutes of movement for every hour on the computer. Stretch your body. Pay attention to the stretch and to your body.
- Take a day off for unstructured time every week.
- Go on a yearly vacation to some relaxing place.
- Schedule regular three-day weekend getaways.
- Take a long hot bath. Pay attention to each part your body as you bathe it. Appreciate your body, and thank it for serving you.
- Enjoy some form of play, like dancing or playing volleyball.
- Ring a mindfulness bell. This is a bell rung in some monasteries to signal everyone to stop what they are doing and just be present for a moment. There are several programs applications available for your smart phone to intermittently ring a mindfulness bell for you.
- Take a sensory stroll, a walk with no other purpose to than to be receptive to what you see, hear, smell and touch.
- Do a walking meditation. This is a slow walk in which attention is placed fully on the specifics of walking, paying close attention to each step.
- Eat a meal in mindfulness, a meal in which eating itself is slowed down and becomes the focus of attention – biting, chewing, tasting and swallowing
Using the Breath to Help Us Slow Down
Breathing consciously from time to time can help us to find more joy, peace, ease and serenity. Here is a gatha, or mindfulness verse, from Buddhist monk and teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. Recite it silently to yourself at any time while following the breath to help you to find a place of inner calm.
Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is the only moment!
Walking MIndfully To Slow Down
Thich Nyat Hanh says that the purpose of walking meditation is really to enjoy the walking – walking not in order to arrive, but walking just for walking. The purpose is to be in the present moment and enjoy each step. Here is one of his verses for walking meditation:
The mind can go in a thousand directions.
But on this beautiful path, I walk in peace.
With each step, a gentle wind blows.
With each step, a flower blooms.