When trying to move beyond anxiety, depression, anger, and unproductive habits, one tool that comes from cognitive-behavioral therapy can greatly help. It’s known as “Opposite Action.” When we’re struggling with difficult emotions like anxiety, anger or depression, often the things we do to try to make ourselves feel better can make the situation worse in the long run and end up increasing the emotion we’re trying to manage. Opposite action is a quick way out of this trap.
When we’re feeling depressed, what most of us naturally tend to do is worry over and over again in our heads about our problems (something called “rumination” in psychology lingo). We tend to isolate and pull away from people and activities when we’re feeling down. We tell themselves that we’ll wait to do those things until we feel better. Unfortunately, the more we pull away and disengage, the more depressed we can get.
There is a natural instinct in the human brain to go and hide in the back of the cave if things aren’t going well. In the short run, that may be the best strategy. However multiple studies have shown that when we come to engage in these behaviors too much(rumination and withdrawl), we can end up feeling worse and become stuck in the depression.
When we’re feeling anxious, the natural instinct is to avoid the things we’re feeling afraid of. If the thing is actually dangerous, that makes sense. But when it’s not, when it’s an irrational fear, multiple studies show that the more we avoid it, the end result is that (1) we end up being more anxious (2) we feel less competent and capable as a person and (3) our lives become constricted and limited as we pull away from important activities.
When we avoid and withdraw, our brains reward us with a temporary decrease in anxiety. Every time we react in this way, we are reinforcing a negative behavior pattern, and usually feeling worse while constricting our lives.
Opposite Action breaks us out of these common patters of reacting to the world that in the long run make painful feelings worse and limit the actions we can take in the world. Opposite action breaks the chain between difficult emotions and unworkable behaviors.
To practice opposite action, you use the action impulse that comes from a painful emotion as a kind of “reverse compass.” If I’m feeling anxious and the impulse that comes with the anxiety tells me to avoid people, opposite action would encourage me to try reaching out to people instead. If I’m feeling depressed and my impulse is to stay in bed, opposite action would tell me to take some steps to get active. If I have a problem controlling my anger and feel the need to tell someone off, opposite action would tell me to be polite and decent and to remove myself from the situation,
If you’re considering opposite action, it’s best to not overwhelm yourself by doing something too difficult to start out with. Start easy and work your way up. And remember that being compassionate with yourself is a great way to begin practicing opposite action. If you tend to beat yourself up for being lazy or not doing enough, being compassionate with yourself is a wonderful opposite action
Opposite action means taking the risk and having the courage to deal with the world in new ways. Think of it as a kind of experiment. What happens when you the risk of breaking out of comfortable (but unworkable) patterns of behavior and do the opposite of what the difficult emotions are telling you to do. What are the results? What happens with the emotion? It will probably be uncomfortable, but it could change your life for the better. Try it out and see what you think.